So What? Featuring: Dunce Lebron, Super 8 and Summer

So what if Dunce Lebron has finally emerged to just miss grabbing his title? Were you really surprised when he choked in critical moments, eating the mythological dog poo that was left on the tip of his nose while he slept in his million dollar Nikes? From King James to Dunce Lebron, this is truly his greatest feat yet, a fine form of acting that has finally revealed the true self. Yes he will win a million, but he's not getting any help or successfully taking any shortcuts!

So what if Super 8 sounds like an awesome movie title and it has Spielberg's name attached to it? Is it about a super hero with a big bad hammer and a glorious girly mullet? Does it have the mystique of a bunch of hormone driven beings downing vodka and lemonade with the hopes of catching flowers and herpes? And finally, where the ass to mouth stitching that has made so many other "artsy" type films into mainstream pseudo cult classics? How "super" is this movie?

So what if the fucking summer came all of a sudden and like a bout of bad diarrhea after a night of vodka and White Castle? Anyone who remembers the frozen tundra of this past winter (penetrating pipes at times) and its nasty mutton like constitution knows that some summer is better than no summer (like some toilet paper is better than no toilet paper, especially after just finishing shitting). I for one love shirts with yellow pits.

So What? Featuring: Lebron, King's Speech and the Royal Wedding

So what if Lebron James is a millionaire with his own shoes and millions of media crazed jock fans? He has no respect. He left his hometown, his home team, his home, for a chance at a championship somewhere else. He easily could have won a championship in Cleveland given a little bit of time. It's not like the guy is getting old or something, and even if he was, where is the loyalty? Look at Karl Malone, stuck to his team throughout, when he did leave it was a respectable time to do so.

So what if The King's Speech is a great movie? Its still a typical movie, with the same typical formula that we've all learned to "love." Ok, so Colin Firth had a great performance, that alone is not a reason to push this movie over a historical landmark like Social Network. From Trent Reznor's edgy, electronic to classical soundtrack to David Fincher's attention to transitions and color schemes to Jesse Eisenberg's despicable but genuinely real performance of Zuckerberg's least revered qualities. Breakthrough, betrayal, corporate war, sex, money and women. This movie is a real portrait of modern American dreams and aspirations. King's Speech was an encomium to the talents of an amazing cast, its plot was simple, its execution was excellent yet trite and the real span of creativity that a director can exude was, for me, not grand enough in this movie to warrant a victory over such an opus as Social Network.

So what if the Royal Wedding took place? Have we really reached such a modern age of Reality TV that even something as "sacred" and respected as the Aristocracy of Britain must be paraded internationally, from TV set to iPhone to iPad to Magazine to Bars and water cooler discussions? Who the hell cares if they got married, they have no bearing on other countries (let alone their own) that would warrant such foolhardy attention. Wouldn't you rather be watching Nice Dreams?