So What? Featuring: Dunce Lebron, Super 8 and Summer

So what if Dunce Lebron has finally emerged to just miss grabbing his title? Were you really surprised when he choked in critical moments, eating the mythological dog poo that was left on the tip of his nose while he slept in his million dollar Nikes? From King James to Dunce Lebron, this is truly his greatest feat yet, a fine form of acting that has finally revealed the true self. Yes he will win a million, but he's not getting any help or successfully taking any shortcuts!

So what if Super 8 sounds like an awesome movie title and it has Spielberg's name attached to it? Is it about a super hero with a big bad hammer and a glorious girly mullet? Does it have the mystique of a bunch of hormone driven beings downing vodka and lemonade with the hopes of catching flowers and herpes? And finally, where the ass to mouth stitching that has made so many other "artsy" type films into mainstream pseudo cult classics? How "super" is this movie?

So what if the fucking summer came all of a sudden and like a bout of bad diarrhea after a night of vodka and White Castle? Anyone who remembers the frozen tundra of this past winter (penetrating pipes at times) and its nasty mutton like constitution knows that some summer is better than no summer (like some toilet paper is better than no toilet paper, especially after just finishing shitting). I for one love shirts with yellow pits.